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Welcome, anything you need from me today? How’s the site working out for you?
→what the fuck
→are you kidding me?
→please tell me there is an actual human on the other end of this
Zack: Hi my name is Zack, is there anything I can help you with today
→oh my goodness zack
Zack: Is there anything I can help you with :)
→so much, zack.
→but tell me about yourself. what brings the two of us together chatting while i was trying to read an article on philadelphiarealestate.com
Zack: I am your personal assistant for the day
Zack: I am here to help you navigate the site and get in touch with the agent
→i kind of want an apartment that has a room like the oval office so i can pretend to be the prez and get drunk and make rude calls to foreign heads of state.
→do you have any apartments that have oval shaped rooms?
Zack: I can have an agent get back to you with that info, can I get your name and contact info please
→i could be like: “
→i could be like: “hey lithuania, you stink, lol”
→or: “hey lichtenstein what is with you anyway?”
→you ever listen to any of the nixon tapes? some of them are weird as hell.
→he started the EPA though, that was kinda neat i think.
→oddly enough i am actually looking for a new apartment.
→in nyc, though.
→i think this one is haunted.
→by a ghost named chad.
→chad the ghost
→he’s not very spooky but he’s loud and annoying
→i bet there’s an apartment in new york with an oval room that i could totally turn into an oval office replica.
→could get an old timey red phone and everything
→pretend to invade the jerk countries and give pardons to all nonviolent prisoners and invite all my pals to camp david to so skinny dipping
→order crazy food from the prez chef at like 3am and he’d be like: “what’s with this guy, lol.” and i’d be like:
→i’d be like “hey i just want some couscous and maybe a salad nicoise and some turkey bacon”
→who are you to question my culinary desires i’m the prez
→or a burger
→i think i’m going to take my girlfriend out to shake shack tonight what are you doing tonight zack what’s for dinner?